"So I said dude. He said dude. I said dude. He said dude. I said, why not run for President? You can hold your first fund raiser in my apartment. He said duuude, great idea! Can I bring along this real estate dude and preacher dude that I know?" - William Ayers
"I remember one day when Barack and I were sitting on my sofa and smoking a spliff - it was good stuff, too - and he swapped it for a normal cigarette as a joke. I coughed and coughed. How we laughed! When I calmed down we smoked a bit more and I asked him whether he wanted to go out and blow some shit up but he said he was too wasted and anyway, he'd be in too much trouble with Michelle. That woman certainly does seem to have him wrapped around her little finger." - Bernadine Dohrn
"Barack Obama is the only Presidential candidate who gave me the high five. He seems to be on my wavelength. I hope he makes it into the White House." - Osama Bin Laden
"We are so excited about making sure of an Obama victory that I've set up a call centre to ring American citizens and encourage them to Vote 1 Obama. We're really chuffed at how positive people have been. I'm sure he'll be able to increase aid to us so that we can fight the Zionist enemy." - Mahmoud Abbas
"So I said to Mr Obama, I just want to annihilate one little country. Just one. Nobody would even notice it was gone. He told me he'd think about it. I like the man. I feel he's someone I can negotiate with; without preconditions, of course." - Mahmoud Ahmandinejad
"Who knew that Barack Obama was also a Kenny Rogers fan? I said to him that I know when to hold 'em and he paused, looked me in the eye and told me that he knows when to fold 'em. We should get on like an (Israeli) house on fire." - Khaled Mashall
"President McCain? Death to America! President Obama? Death to America! Sorry you DailyKos, HuffPo, Firedoglake useful idiots but we really do hate America. We hated you under Carter. We hated you under Reagan. We hated you under old man Bush. We hated you under Clinton. We hate you under George W and we'll hate you under Obama. That's just the way we are. Death to America!" - Hassan Nasrallah in an unusually candid moment.
"Matt Damon's interpretive dance performance of our current chart topping hit, The Joy of Bumper Harvest Overflows Amidst the Song of Mechanisation, was just breathtaking. I asked him who our sleeper agents in America should vote for and he told me Barack Obama would serve our interests best so Barack Obama it is. Thanks, Matt Damon. And thanks, also, for these cool sunglasses!" - Kim Jong Il
Times certainly ain't what they used to be...
PS - there really is a North Korean song called The Joy of Bumper Harvest Overflows Amidst the Song of Mechanisation...